Days of crappiness

Yeah, the title doesn't seem to make sense...but I hope it will after this rant.

On April 4th, 2011...my now ex-boyfriend and I broke up after 7 months of dating. Yeah...it's not that long, but thats long to me. I've only had a cheater or loser as a boyfriend...so they were short lived...so this is long to me. But the break up was so selfish on his part that I seriously want to slam my head into a wall each time I think of it. It's stupid..it's pathetic...and it's a lie (from him).

Before we got together, he told me his plan to move out of state. I didn't want the long distant relationship...but he kept making petty promises and such...and said that it was still in the planning and may not even happen. We dated for awhile, had a lot of hard spots cause of all his female friends either enjoying to attack me, or just continuing to talk to him and he talks back WHILE I'm right next to him. Smooth move Romeo. I'm a jealous girl when things are so easily hidden from me and that he'd pay so much more attention to them then he would me...but hey, that's just me. He would look at my stuff and I wouldn't hide it, but he felt the need to hide his (hey boys: GIRLS DO NOT LIKE THAT).

In the long run, he was a good boyfriend to me. I must suffer from depression or being bipolar or something cause I'm so paranoid and sad all the time it's crazy. Or maybe that's just my past smacking me in the back of the head. But the one thing that just blew me away (not in a good way) was that he took everything so lightly, like he didn't care and then, in the end, while I tried to keep things strong, he just gives up.

His reason: Distance, Not used to the Title (being in a relationship), Wants a break

...Distance. I swear somewhere and sometime, I said I didn't want it...but I let it happen. And look at life now...it sucks. Thanks. The fact that he takes everything so lightly while I bother to try...it's such a turn off. I'm still wondering why. Why did he fall for me? Why did he say he's tried so hard to get with me if he's just gonna let me down in the end? Why so many promises like "I won't leave you unless you leave me" that he so easily broke?

I don't get it. Love is confusing. Life is crazy.

Why I'm here

Everyday, I have something to say, something to rant about, something I feel like I want to get out there and say. So, I don't care who reads this blog. Don't judge me, don't question me, just read. And if you want to comment, comment. I'm not going to force you, but I need a place that will accept me for being me.